Empathy: The ability to share someone else's feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person's situation. Now some people have it and some don't. This does not make all people who don't bad people.
There are 168 hours in a week, maybe 60 of those you are in bed sleeping (or doing other things) maybe 50 you are at work earning money to pay the rent or mortgage. You now have 58 hours left. Maybe 10 of them you spend in the kitchen preparing meals. 10 with your children doing homework and the like. 10 with your partner just getting on with life. Then there is gardening, housework, maybe a bit of DIY. You see in the real world most people don't have time to think let alone time for empathy. Its that simple. Then one day if your lucky you pay off the mortgage slow down and have time to reflect.
Sorry I can't write a book to save my life (bad schooling and I was in a really bad way when I wrote it.) I hope it might help the 1 in 20 it was written for. Its pretty obvious but it can for some be a bit of a trigger. To be read in conjuction with The apology from my sons school head. You see trying to live with memories of childhood sexual abuse without any support can really mess with your understand and trust of others. You can end up in later life reading anything into anything you later see or hear that is just a little let alone a lot out of place. You might get along with anybody, get married, have kids, a good job and friends but deep down you know like inside your always kind of on edge looking out for anything out of place. Then come the triggers to past not so much memories but the feelings and emotions that go with them and they can sometimes really take over every waking thought. Then comes the shame and fear of anybody finding out and judging you as at fault for your own childhood experiences so you fear seeking help. You look ahead for problems, try and steer clear of them and try to deal with things on your own. So earning about 22 I spent getting on for 50 thousand pounds moving home in order to get our children in the best school possible. George Abbot School Guildford. (Google 'Berrow Wood School' where I spent the last 3 years of my schooling and you might understand why.)
Who knows why but my eldest sons special needs teacher came down from George abbot school to the junior school to meet him rather than he visiting the school. Given the above ask yourself how you might feel if your first impression of this special needs teacher was her looking over your sons school file and having a tantrum stating "Oh shit he is only level two we'll loose him next year" ? OK I should have said something but I really did not want to start off on the wrong foot but did I get bad vibes. You might understand why after my childhood I trust my vibes. (I walked out of a supposedly good job once because I got bad vibes. Funny that, within 2 years that company went bust.) Back to my son and his new school. Within 2 months and one petty problem after another and a suggestion it might be the wrong school for the child my vibes were ringing bells. Is this deliberate? Are they just looking to cause problems? My wife the childs mother who really could not give a hoot just blindly agreed with anything the last person told her. The school under a threat of exclusion has now forced social workers on the family. (yeh like they did me any good when I was a child so I wanted nothing to do with them!) 2 found nothing wrong but the school just insisted on keep calling them out. It was like my son sneezes and they call out a social worker. It was an absolute nightmare, interfering know it all busy bodies sticking their nose in giving unwanted unqualified advice. Now don't get me wrong I'm sure social workers are generally nice enough people who want to help but some of them are just so thick, younger than, less experienced than and speak to a parent like the parent is a child with no life experiences.
By this time 2 months after he started I have made 5 requests of the school to contact my only support, my sons scout leader for advice. I have also made one of this the 3rd social worker. All refused! "No somebody else will do that." "No somebody in the office will do that." Yeh like these people are really interested in helping my son. Upon my 5th request of George Abbot School the reply was. "Thats not our job, speak to the social worker there has been an abuse allegation" as his special needs teacher tried to walk away. It was like a firework in my head! Here is a reason not to make a phone call for this child if I can make it somebody elses job. Did I have real bad vibes and see red! It was about now I twigged my wife was in the middle of an affair with her boss at work. That could not have happened at a worse time. My younger son even worked it out and told me in the only way an 8 year old can. Now I ask you, you know your heading towards a nervous breakdown, you have kids to protect from being eaten up by the system that destroyed your childhood and your wife would sooner go to work unpaid overtime, what would you do? When I finally confronted her, my wife walked out on the family with a text message. Maybe visit my other site: Gas the apology to see what I did. If you got some nutter of a parent making covert recordings of meetings in your school you really should know you've done something wrong and have lost this parents trust! It makes the school and social workers jump pretty high when this parent starts publishing stuff on the internet, sending links to the council and social workers head office asking somebody in authority for an opinion and publishing that too. Maybe as many as 1 in 20 can share a something with my story and I feel for these people and thats why this website and book exist. You see sometimes you have to think for yourself and fight back. If it sounds, looks and smells wrong you can almost guarantee it is wrong.
40 years+ the authorities new about the abuse going on in this institution and did nothing. The compensation? 5K what an insult! and the solicitor had a grand of that! Me? I suffered a nervous breakdown.
BBC Written report here.
So this is the UK government, an MP with some bottle has a go and they try and shut him down. Brush it all under the carpet just like they always have.
Gets my back up!
Lets brush it all under the carpet! You see if we don't talk about it we can pretend like it never happened, re write history, nobody will be held accountable and it will happen all over again! Given society as a whole who are the most important? I put it to you its our children and I put it to you that we are failing them! You can fix a car, a lawnmower and a washing machine on the cheap but children need time, support, love and understanding. They do not need to be put through an automated system run by people without a clue, Maybe working for themselves or not having the time or inclination to do a reasonable job.
OK he is a bit loud but I like this news reporter!
Below is a picture of my abuser Barry Desmond Newton Hastings from Margate. You see if you sexually abuse and attempt to rape a child you might end up like this guy dead in jail. I'm not sure how he died but I like to think another inmate who was child friendly got hold of him.
Now different people deal with things in a different way, some have support and some don't. That said if it feels wrong nine out of ten times it is wrong. I learnt a long time ago if you want something done tell no lies, covertly record things, choose your frinds well and don't rely on anybody else to do it fo you.
I registered this and other sites for about £10 each and my webspace with unlimited bandwith, unlimited domain hosting and 99.9% up time costs me about £12 a month. So cheap you wont find any adverts spyware or infernal pop ups. The newspapers don't like it might I suggest because they might loose some business with others by advertising it.
